Monday, March 28, 2011

I'm Not Sick. Really, I’m Not.

After you’ve been sick for a couple of days (actually, by the time you read this it will be five days = 120 hours = 7200 minutes), there’s nothing more provoking than taking your temperature and discovering that you still have a fever. Okay, my head hurts, my nose runs, and I cough up nasty stuff (sorry, too much information), but I feel like I’ve done the sick thing. I want to get up, do the dishes, cook meals, and fold laundry. Yes, my family is doing these things, but, well, I do it better and more efficiently. Hmm. I’m probably missing a lesson that I’m supposed to learn.

And I’m sooo tired of Netflix. I’ve watched an entire miniseries, a documentary on the world of modeling (very creepy—some of those “women” are 12!!), and some detective tv shows (the plots become extremely redundant). I’m entertained out of my mind and bored silly. Normally, I read or write when I’m sick, but my eyes were too bleary. So I had an entertainment overdose. (Sadly, for some reason, I can’t sleep when I’m sick.)

I have amazing respect for those who struggle with chronic diseases or disabilities. Especially the ones I know who bear up without complaint. There appears to be a lesson for me to learn there too. Hmm. I think this rant means that I haven’t learned that lesson yet either.

In the meantime, I’ve decided that the thermometer must be wrong. Yeah, okay, on Saturday I asked Cal to buy a new thermometer because I decided that all our new-fangled battery-operated ones had to be defective. He brought home one of the old-fashion glass kind. But it’s still not telling me what I want. I’m sure it’s the thermometer’s fault. It’s difficult to come up with a reason why it’s “broken” since I can’t blame it on batteries or electrical components. However, I’m a writer so it’s my job to be creative.  Here are my top five reasons why I really don’t have a fever.

1. My normal body temperature is abnormally high.  So it’s not really a fever.

2. The thermometer doesn’t measure in Fahrenheit. (Downside to this—the only other heat measuring units I’m aware of are Kelvin and Celsius. Neither of which help. I could make one up...)

3. The numbers painted on the side of the thermometer are wrong.

4. I have a fast metabolism so holding the thermometer in my mouth for three minutes gives too high a reading. Thirty seconds should be more accurate.

5. *Imagine me stomping my foot and channeling my inner two-year old* “It’s wrong because I’m tired of being sick.” 

13 comments:

  1. There have been a handful of nasty viruses going around lately. And nobody likes to be sick.

    ..So would you say you're sick of being sick? :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hope you feel better soon. *sends a mega dose of vitamin C your way*

    ReplyDelete
  3. Sorry about that. We are trying to cope with allergies here...ugh. Pollen is everywhere.

    What about magazines? They are a little easier to read than books, I guess. Maybe not.

    Hope you feel better!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ugh, feel better soon! I had "the yuck" a few weeks ago and confess to watching waaaay too much netflix! Maybe try some classic movies? They always feel to me like a change of pace compared to modern stuff.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I think I also fail to learn the lessons of being sick. It only makes me frustrated. I love your take on it, though. The sense of humor must be the first thing to recover!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I hope you get better soon, and those pesky thermometers start behaving themselves!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Doesn't Wii make a game or activity for those who are sick? They don't miss many commercial opportunities.

    ReplyDelete
  8. So far I've been lucky to avoid the flue this winter, knock on wood. Hope you start feeling better soon. I know you must be sick if you want to do the laundry and dishes.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Ah, feel better! I hate being sick, I really hate it.

    ReplyDelete
  10. So sorry to hear your sick--seems like a lot of that going around. I hope you feel better soon!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Ha ha I have the same fight with my scale!!! I can come up with a DOZEN reasons why it's wrong!

    I hope you feel better!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Oh, I know what you mean!!!! I was laid up for a week with back issues....luckily my head was still clear (well....for most of it...when I wasn't in severe pain) and I managed to get a lot of writing done. But I got a stomach bug recently. That sucked...big time.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I hope you're feeling better by today. Did the thermometer finally stop acting up?

    ReplyDelete